Been a While...but who really cares


Hey all, judging from the comments in my little box on the side there, I see that some have missed me, others figured who cares, and still others wondered "What the fuck?"
WELL...I've been contemplating my role in the great scheme of this bullshit we call life.

Taking the time that I did..yes Annie, the Wolf is always around....I do read your blogs, I do it from work mostly, because that's when I get bored...also, I haven't had much of a chance to write, or work on my short story, which I know I have to finish. Thing is, coming up with an ending after 11 years is not so easy.

But I digress...I've been working a lot of hours, and doing a lot of thinking..about where I am, what I'm doing..and basically...just what the fuck is going on..and you know what, I'm actually stumped.

I don't have a freaking clue...

I thought I knew..what I was doing, where I was..but I don't know a damn thing..I've had people that have come into my life that have toss me for a loop. Things that have happened that have made me question who I am, and I swore that I would never have that happen to me.

No..this is not a mid life bullshit thing..you have to have a life to have a crisis..I'm not in a crisis..I'm in stasis..a holding pattern and I don't know why.
I have nothing to be in a pattern over anything..its stupid.
I could, I would..decide to think about where I'm going with this life of mine..would be easy if it affected only me..but it doesn't.
It never does, does it...

The choices we make in life can never affect just us, can they...that would be too selfish, wouldn't it.
but then that would be asking life to be fair...and we all know that is too goddamn impossible.
So that's why I'm pouring this shit out right now...right here...because I can..because its the only venue that I have. because I have to sit here at work and listen to this damn co-worker bitch about her life and the daily fucking drama in it..OY!
but seriously..I don't know. people..lets talk about them. They come into your life, sometimes at the wrong time, when you least expect it..and everything changes. Your path, your expectations, your dreams(though I have no fokin idea what those are), you whole life...and you find out that at forty-seven years old, you're scared..you wake up and you're goddamn scared that the life you thought you were solid in, is not that solid any longer. SO NOW WHAT THE HELL TO I DO?
Where's the goddamn guide book?!
I have no one to talk to...no one to vent...they usually sound off to me..

Who does the sounding board go to when he needs to sound off?




Where's my echo...?


Where's my ear...I lost my shoulder..somewhere down the line...


BTW, Grim will be finished before the year is out..

and Annie..dreamboat Annie..The wolf is always around. just a bit lost right now.