I know, I'm supposed to be finishing my story, but right now, I don't feel like writing about that...I'll finish it shortly..tonight..if you'd had told me this morning, ok, technically yesterday, that I was going to be killing my dog, I would have hit you in the face...more like beat the shit out of you...Who'da thunk it?

My boy...my little bear...He was a good dog..he never bit or jumped at anyone...he was a good boy....And that fucking desease..that goddamned thing that took my first boy, did it again..it came for him. It took my Bear.

He started feeling bad this weekend..guess he was feeling bad for a while, but dogs can't say what's bothering them, can they. We kinda figured the was getting tired of the food that he'd been eating for nine years, mostly due to a stomach condition when he was a puppy, he decided he didn't want to eat. So we made him some rice, which he ate...he vomited a few times, and then after the weekend and a food change, he was fine..he was eating, and when I left for work yesterday afternoon, he was fine, seemed to be his old self. Then, two hours into my shift, I get a call from my wife, she's crying, hysterical, Bear's having a seizure, he's barely breathing, she doesn't know what to do..I have to leave work...I come home, calling the vet on the way, they say take him in, I'm talking to my wife on the other line, she's outside, trying to keep Dotty Ann, our other dog, calm..Bear is up but just staring...she's scared, Dotties scared..I'm in traffic...
I get home, my wife and dottie are in the bedroom, Bear comes in from out back, walks up, on shakey legs..but he knows me...I take him to the ER Vet..and thats when they drop the bomb on me..

His blood oxygen is 77 percent. His Spleen is distended to the point of rupturing, and there is a mass on it. Bigger than the spleen.
Taking into regard his age, and his blood oxygen levels which were dropping, and that the spleen had to be removed..and for dogs not the same as humans..we were basically told that he would not be the same afterwards, and would have maybe a year, if that..and we don't have the 16,000 for the surgery....So what do we do?

I said goodbye to my boy...my bear, who I raised from a puppy...my bear, who say 8 christmas's with me...eight Thanksgivings, eight Halloweens, eight 4th of july's that I stayed up most of the night with...and eight birthdays, where he got his cookie, and I got a thank you lick on the face...Bear who always met me at the door, no matter how late I got home from work...Bear, who learned to sleep in a box, while house breaking, which turned into a two bedroom apt, then a three bedroom townhome, and then a four bedromm condo...long story.
Bear, he was a good dog..and if I made any mispellings or errors in this its becuase of the tears in my eyes, and you know what, i don't give a fuck...cause bear loved me just the way i am...and I'll allways remember that..and love him for that..


Bear..September 23, 2000/October 13, 2009