Tuesday, August 09, 2016


No Really, those red lights are my Tail lights, you moron!



You know, as I was driving home tonight, I couldn't help but wonder, is that ass behind me getting a bit too close? Then I was pretty damn sure when I couldn't see his headlights any longer but got a real good look at his dumb face in my rear view mirror!  It's bad enough, during the day, when you have to deal with the jackasses playing Pokemon go, while driving, texting, cutting their damn toenails, whatever the hell they're doing that takes their attention away from controlling a two ton vehicle, but then we come to the evening and I not only have a bunch of Fast and Furiest wannabes, driving in and out of traffic like its damn speedway. REALLY?! It's a freeway you morons!

OK, so back to this evening. I'm driving home, and would like to make it home without an incident, but the clown behind me is intent on riding so far up my tailpipe, he wants to see how much gas is in my tank!  At this point, I would normally brake check anyone who doesn't have brains enough to know they're too damn close, but this clown is too damn close, and hitting my brakes, even just a touch, would cause an accident that I don't want or need.  So I did what any responsible person my age would do...I slowed my ass down. Which seemed to have pissed my piggy backer off even more.
So much so, he finally got the idea, and went around. In doing so, he almost hit a truck, and flipped me the bird as he sped off on his merry way. Was I pissed? Of course I was. Anyone who knows me, knows I speed up and did my best to catch his ass, see if I could get him to pull over and discuss his stupid actions in a "gentlemanly" type fashion...yeah, you know beat his ass with a stick...but I got cut off by another dumb ass, and he got away...


I mean, quite honestly I enjoy driving. whether it be on the freeway, the street, off road, whatever, I like it. It relaxes me, well for the most part. When you through in dipsticks that have no regard for other people that are sharing that same road, highway, street, whatever, well then, it really pisses me off! I mean, damn, my wife is driving on that freeway! My friends and co-workers are driving on that damn thing, and they have to put up with these ass wipes that don't care. I don't know what it's like in your state, but here in Arizona, its getting pretty damn scary. Case in point ; I had a co-worker, who told me about his girlfriends driving test. The instructor took her out, told her to make a left...go a ways, make another left...go a ways, make another left...go down  and make another left...back into the parking lot of the MVD. After which he had her park and told her she passed...to this day, my friend is still terrified to be in the same car with her. I DON'T BLAME HIM! He says she can't make a proper right hand turn to save her soul! Her driving test was basically to see if she was able to make a square! A FREAKING SQUARE!!!
If that is the criteria to get a license in this state, then it explains a whole hell of a lot. I have a co-worker who sold his scooter because he was tired of almost getting rammed every time he was out on the road. Honestly, I don't see how there aren't more Motorcycle accidents, the way people drive today. I've seen people crossing in the crosswalk almost get hit just before they get to the curb. 
Seriously, whether its not paying attention, or just not giving a fuck, people here in Arizona have to wake up. We have to remember, we're not invincible when you sit behind the wheel of that car. Airbags don't always save yours ass. Just ask the guy that went up behind the Semi last weekend on the 101...oh wait you can't, he's dead. 
My point is people, in all this ranting, and yes I do have one, is slow the fuck down. We all have somewhere to be, and we have the means and opportunity to get there, So lets get there in one piece. Safely. Unless you don't mind spending the remainder of your life sipping your food through a straw, or taking a dump out the side of your stomach with permanent fanny pack as your constant companion...
Get my meaning?
Peace...

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