I've come to the realization that I'm going to walk in the door and find my wife crying...
Not because of something I've done...lord knows, that I've done some stupid things in the past, but no, it's because I know my Bruno doesn't have much time....

He's tiring much more faster, and his breathing is getting harsher..but he refuses to give up.

I think that when he does decide to go, it will be in his sleep. See, he didn't eat today. Well, that's not true, he ate this morning, but not all of his food..and this evening, he didn't eat at all. I think he's telling me that it will come when it comes. The Oncologist has yet to get back to us...not much we can do about that.

I can do many things....I just can't make him better...


I just can't fucking make him better.


I'm not a fool. I'm a realist. I know that he's not going to be with me forever, but not like this...not this way. Many that I have loved..I have lost to some sort of disease. Cancer is one of those diseases. I hate that disease. It's taking my boy from me.

Bad enough I live with the spectre of it over my wife...

now this.

And people wonder why I put no stock in organized religion. Doesn't work for me.
Don't bother trying...I'm not arguing with you..believe what you will..me..everything has a spirit, even my Bruno. And one day, he'll be in the Happy hunting ground waiting for me.

That's what I believe.

For now....we'll just play in the backyard.

For now.