WE ALL GET EM....
Well, most of us do...I just got my first one today..well we, my wife and I...it's from her ex-boss...a very nice one. Got me thinking about that multi-billion dollar industry that takes flight at this time of year, what I like to call "The Silly Season". No, I'm not making light of a certain someones birth...Those of you who are religious, don't send the hate mail....I call it that because people tend to get mega silly at this time of year.
What with all the sales, and mad dashes to get those presents out, the cards..the wrapping, the trees, dressing uncle Jack up as Santy...Poor uncle Jack...Ya know the poor schlub just wants to crawl into that bottle of Jim Beam ya got him for Xmas Cheer, and as soon as you put them kids to sleep, that's exactly what he's gonna do...along with dad, brother and the rest of anyone else who'll join him.
Yeah...The silly season...People going nuts to get that better parking space...fuck it, let em have it. No sense in getting shot for a few feet of walking distance, eh what...That Lady wants the last size 6 dress in red, let her have it..even though you know she's two sizes too big to get into it..and will be returning it Friday..You'll get it half off anyway. Yes, just say Merry Christmas...smile, and wave...though in your heart of hearts you're screaming.."take it ya stupid cow...we both know you're not a SIX...MORE LIKE A SIXTEEN!"
Then slog back to that lousy parking spot...pass that clown that just had to have the good one that he cut you off to get it....drive home through the traffic, the fingers, the horns, the glares, the vacant stares....and into the house, with Uncle Jack, happily Blitzed and snoozing in the corner...with the dog drinking JB from the dog dish....wrap the last minute gifts...go through the mail, and see that...That card, from the friend you haven't seen in years...the cousin you thought dropped off the face of the earth....Aunt Marie....Grandma...Your son...Your daughter...Or..that someone you thought didn't care.
And then its Christmas....
Till the dog throws up on the rug...and you contemplate covering it up with Jacks new coat...
Merry Christmas...
6 comments:
Everybody needs a Uncle Jack. I don't have one... Instead, everybody has to smile and pretend to like each other. Me? This year? If I can't shake off this cold, I'll cough on everyone. Maybe nobody will talk to me. I could just point at my throat and nod my head to explain I can't speak.
Thank God you don't have my address.. is that a Christmas card? Anybody send that to me, I'll recycle it and send it back to you next year.. LOL!
I'm in a crappy mood.. don't mind me... and stop making fun of my green bath towels in the backgroun. I don't even remember where they came from. I think my Mom got them for me as a gift from last Xmas.
Darlin..if I had your addy, you'd get a card from me. That pic I just happened to find on the web..I dug it..and I like your green towels...lol! So I'm going to make fun of em till they get you some more this christmas...:)
More green towels? I have dark blue ones, peach colored ones, pink ones, dark green ones... I've got a rainbow of colors and nothing matches. Definitely NOT getting a profile page on the Pottery Barn magazines.. more like Salvation Army Decorating Tips. :P
Merry Christmas.
Well, you can lump me together with the religious types, but I think Christmas nowadays is overrated and too commercialized.
Frankly, all I want to do on Christmas is have a nice rest, spend a little time in church and hang out with lots of friends, lol.
Jonzz = A Young Grinch in Training
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