The Secret Garden Of Martha Grim.
by Richard A. Lopez (c)1992

Page 8....


Willie Cole found that it was not hard at all to follow Martha's car, she actually drove the speed limit! He made no attempt to conceal the fact either. Though she tried to weave in and out of what little traffic there was on the county road, Cole was actually having fun toying with her. "No way you're losing me, bitch!" he said aloud. "I'm gonna hound your sweet ass till you give me what I want."

All the time he was pursuing Martha, Willie had failed to notice that he had picked up a tail of his own. Sheriff Roy Quinn had been shadowing Cole ever since he noticed him pull onto the main highway. Quinn didn't like the bastard, never had. He could never understand how such fine upstanding folks like Bob and Kate Cole could have such a shit for a son. Though Quinn had only known the Cole's for a short time, he had come to like them very much. Bob Cole was a very hard working man, All his clients liked him and he always had a kind word for everyone. His wife, Kate, worked at the county clerks office. Even at the age of fifty-two, she was a very attractive woman. At least Roy thought so. Though he would never let Bob know that, he had too much respect for the man. Still, he was always a bit jealous that he had not met her earlier in his lifetime.

But that was three years ago. Now, because some idiot didn't know when he'd had enough, Bob and Kate Cole were dead. Killed on the highway like some stray animal.
The kicker was that the guy that hit them, only suffered minor injuries. He was now doing seven years in the State penitentiary. Seven years for two lives, hardly seemed fair. He was a rich kid, from old family money and that is what saved him. If Roy had had his way, the runt would have been staring down the business end of his twelve gauge shotgun, saying his sweet goodbye's to this world.

The Secret Garden Of Martha Grim.
By Richard A. Lopez (c) 1992

Page 7....


Ann Hawkins had always been a very pretty woman. Even after having the brat, as she referred to Tommy, she stilled managed to retain her almost hour glass figure. The pregnancy was not a difficult one, thank god for small favors, and she had taken all the exercise classes she could safely take while in that state. There was no way she was going to be like those other broads that let themselves go after squeezing out a few runts. She knew John had wanted more children, but she drew the line after one. If he was so fired up to have more, let him shit out a couple! More power to him.

She watched him in the driveway as he played with Tommy awhile, gazing at Willie's truck speed down the street after the Grim bitch's ancient Lincoln. She knew Willie had the hots for Martha Grim. The slob probably thought of her while he was screwing me, she thought to herself. John probably did too, for that matter. Hell, it didn't matter, she thought, she was just using his dumb ass to get what she wasn't getting from her husband. Using him just as she had been using John. Until the next one came along, that was the plan. She never really intended on marrying John, it just happened. It was actually fun for a while, but then Tommy came along, and things got really fucked. Dirty diapers, messy formula, all the damn screaming at two in the morning. She still doesn't know how she did it. Damned doctors office. She would have aborted it if they hadn't screwed up and called the house with the results on a day when John was working at home. He was ecstatic. She didn't have the heart to go through with it. Besides, he waited on her hand and foot, she got used to the pampering, the attention. All that changed the minute Tommy was born, then, all the attention stopped, just like that. He spoiled the kid, and the kid knew it. Even as an infant, she could swear that the brat knew that all he had to do was holler and John would drop everything and go running to see what was wrong.
Ann would have to ask him two, or three times to do something for her, but the kid, never. She never thought she'd be jealous of a six year old, but she was, and she hated it. Hated Tommy for it.
Then Cole came along.
She remembered the day he came to the door, his six foot-plus frame filled the entire doorway. His muscular body made John look like a skinny teenager in comparison. John had hired him to do the gardening, and he was to start that day, She remembered it was very hot that day and she was wearing the blue sundress John had bought her for her birthday just the week before. She also remembered she that she had nothing on underneath, and from his gaze, she could tell that Cole had noticed as well.
Cole was finishing up his work, when she invited him in for a glass of lemonade and to discuss the rate he was going to charge, monthly. It was by no accident, that he spilled lemonade on himself, nor were there any good intentions involved when he took off his tank top. The unveiling of his well chiseled and tanned body, touched off a spark in her, she thought had long since died after baby was born. Soon she found herself clutching every part of him. Kissing, biting, licking at the spilled lemonade, still wet on his skin. He all but ripped the flimsy sundress from her body, his rough hands traveling over her, making her shudder and moan, exciting her even more. Pushing aside what was left of the breakfast dishes, he took her there, on the kitchen table, picking her up as lightly as if she were a rag doll. She tore at his pants, almost fighting to get them off, and suddenly he was inside her. She almost screamed with joy at the passion that was ignited inside her.
Willie Cole bought about a fire that she thought was near but impossible. One she never felt with John. With every thrust, it burst inside her, each one harder than the last. Her legs wrapped tightly around him, pulling him deeper into her, not wanting to release him as he drove harder and faster. Deeper, it seemed, each time. Till at last they came together there, on the table. She felt completely exhausted.
Could not even rise from the table, as he lay atop her, breathing like a wild beast.
What had this man just done to her?

As the weeks went on, their lovemaking continued. In the shower, the living room, the bedroom. Once even in the garage, Cole had taken her from behind, the "backdoor" as he referred to it. It was painful at first, but could not believe how much she enjoyed it. She was sure the entire neighborhood heard her moans. Hell, she knew other women on the street talked, but she didn't care. Like she said, she was getting what she wanted. She even knew John was suspicious, didn't care about that either. He even bought her big indignity act, when he confronted her about sleeping with Cole. Hell, I'm not sleeping with him, you ass, she was fucking him! There's not goddamn sleeping involved.
She didn't even care about the asshole. She just wanted fulfillment. But, if that was true, then why did it burn her so much every time she saw Cole talking to, or hanging around Martha Grim's house. Cole had told her he was trying to get some damn secret that was going to make him rich. Something to do with her flowers or some bullshit like that. "Yeah," she said aloud, "Just like a man. More likely, you just want to get into her panties. Always letting the little head do the thinking for you, dumb ass!"
She watched as John and the "Brat" started walking up towards the front door. "He'll probably want dinner or something like that." she said to no one in particular. The turned and opened the freezer to grab two steaks out and tossed them in the microwave. "Don't sweat it, just nuke it, I always say." she said again, speaking to herself. If he doesn't like, well that's just to damn bad, she thought.
Ann just wanted out.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
to be continued.....

The Secret Garden Of Martha Grim.
By Richard A. Lopez (c) 1992

Page 6.....

After that day, little things kept popping into John's suspicions. A work glove or shirt, tools left behind to be conveniently picked up on the next weeks visit. John ached deep inside, at the pit of his stomach, every time he thought of that slime putting his hands on her, letting alone being in the same bed with her. What was worse, was that Ann expected the same from him! Finally, when he could no longer keep his suspicions to himself, he confronted Ann with the allegation that she and Cole were having an affair. An affair, that was a laugh. They were screwing each other like dogs in heat! Matter of fact, that's just how he put it to her. Talk about righteous indignation. Ann was furious at the thought of even remotely having anything to do with the likes of Willie Cole, especially in the bedroom. John cited what had led to his suspicions, the items he found, the new found sexual attitude. He stated it wasn't like her to turn their bedroom into a porn movie set. That was it. She let loose on him with a verbal assault that he had never seen. As to the items left behind by Cole, if he was a forgetful idiot, it was by no fault of hers. She had no power over his being an imbecile. As for the bedroom, well, just because she felt that their love-life needed a bit of spicing up, and that their marriage could benefit from trying a few "different" things, well, if he didn't like it, then his prudish ass could plan on sleeping in the spare bedroom from now on!

That was six weeks ago. Their marriage had become one of convenience. They were cordial to each other, but that was all. John set himself up in the spare bedroom, next to Tommy's room. Tommy, he was confused at first, but like all kids, he adjusted by thinking mommy and daddy were just playing a silly game.
Sure, it was a game, alright. Except the only one having fun was Ann. He was sure that she and Cole were still at it. One day he even caught him coming out of the house, just as he pulled up into the driveway. Willie said that Mrs.Hawkins had been good enough to let him use the bathroom. When John went into the house, Ann just gave him a contemptuous look and went into the bedroom, the door slamming shut behind her.
He knew she wanted out, he felt it deep in his soul. Either she didn't have the guts to leave, or was going to try for a big divorce settlement. John didn't care...Hell, he'd pay her to go, just so long as she left him and Tommy alone. He knew she didn't want Tommy, wouldn't take him, and he'd be damned if that bastard Cole would raise his son. No, Tommy would never go with her, he was sure of it. Besides, if it came down to it, he'd play the affair card. He'd been gathering evidence, just in case she tried to do something stupid or sneaky. "You want out", he thought to himself..."Fine, but you go alone...not with my son."
It was all a matter of time, he thought as he watched Cole speed off after Martha Grim. John closed the car door, and carried his son house. "Not in a million years, right sport?" he said to his son.
Tommy just looked at him and giggled...daddy was silly.

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to be continued

The Secret Garden Of Martha Grim.
By Richard A. Lopez (c) 1992

Page 5....

All of a sudden it was like she wasn't getting enough fulfilment. Oh they were fine the first few years of their marriage, even after Tommy was born. He thought their sex life was what could be considered normal. Still, after they'd bought the new house, she'd become insatiable. Just this past month, she flat out told him that she wasn't having an orgasm every they made love. So John thought he would be more attentive to her "needs". Still no good.
Then one day he found a work glove on the kitchen counter. He knew it wasn't his, he never wore gloves when he worked on their cars. He'd asked Ann, and she had said it was Cole's. That he left it on the back gate. She didn't want it to get lost so she brought it inside. That she was going to return it to him when he came back the following week.
Innocent enough, or so it seemed. Until that night they were in bed and she suggested they try something different. He didn't mind it at first, but he could have sworn that she told him in the beginning of their relationship that she thought oral sex was disgusting. Apparently, she didn't find it disgusting that night. Soon it became obvious that she was not getting her suggestions from a book or woman's magazine. For someone who at one time frowned at "R" rated movies, their bedroom was becoming positively X-rated. Maybe she was just getting kinky, he thought. Then one day, he had come home from work just as Cole was finishing up. They had one of their rare conversations. Nothing special, sports, cars, the yard. Then Cole had made a sexual remark about one of the neighbors wives, as she walked out to her car. Normally Willie's crude remarks just fly by him, but it was his choice of words that got John thinking. Cole had made reference to the neighbors "back door", and it was the way that he had used the term that got John thinking that Cole might be doing more than mowing the grass and tending the flower garden. Ann had used the same term the night before.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Be continued....

The Secret Garden Of Martha Grim
By Richard A. Lopez (c)1992

Page 4.


John Hawkins was watching the exchange of words that was going on at the end of street. He wondered what trouble that Willie Cole was giving Ms.Grim this time? Every time Cole came around, it seemed that he would go out of his way to bother that poor young woman. Probably trying to hit on her, like he had with John's wife, Ann. Oh yes, John knew that Cole had a thing for Ann. Since the very first day he came to work for them, last August. John had received a notice from the town council, that his yard was beginning to look a bit unsightly, was the term they used, and that according to a city ordinance he would be charged one hundred dollars a month if the the problem was not rectified soon. That's when Willie Cole came knocking. It seemed like a good idea at first. John was still to busy with the new job, and Ann was taking care of the house and Tommy. Plus the price was reasonable enough, Cole only charged forty dollars a month to maintain the yard. He even dressed up the flower bed at no additional cost. That was in the beginning. Once he got set in, he was like a tick. He'd dig in and was almost impossible to remove. His work was shoddy, he was always giving Tommy a bad time. Sometimes, Hawkins truly believed that Cole and the Town Council were in league with one another. He knew it sounded melodramatic, but he would not put it past the two. And then there was Ann.
He and Ann had been married for eight years, and, though the first two had been just fine, She seemed to have changed after Tommy was born. It was like the boy was the stopper in her life. She seemed rarely kind to the boy, constantly on his back for something. Sometimes, and he knew it was wrong to think this, but sometimes it was as if she hated Tommy. John had wondered if Ann had secretly blamed their son for somehow ruining her life. If it was true, he could not understand why. Tommy was everything to him. John loved being a father, and it showed in the relationship he had with his son. Tommy was always there to meet him when he got home from work, with a big smile and hug. He wish he could say the same for his wife. It seemed she was never satisfied with anything. Worse part was that it seemed to be getting worse
as the years went on. If it wasn't money, it was things, or Tommy, or his job. She complained they didn't have enough of the things that she thought were important. Mostly material things, a new car, new furniture. It was always about money. If not money, then his job. Wanting him to be more aggressive with his boss, when it came to asking for a raise, or a promotion.
"Hey", he would tell her, "these are tough times. Business has go to get a little better before I could make such demands."
Besides, they weren't that bad off. They had a roof over their heads, food on the table, and not to mention that closet full of clothes. She had her own car, and that was only three years old. Still it wasn't enough. Then there was the sex thing.

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To be Continued

The Secret Garden Of Martha Grim.
By Richard A. Lopez (c) 1992

PAGE 3

She started to say. "There is no secret ingredient in the fertilizer I use, no trickery, no special feed. It's just good gardening skills, that is all."
He could see that she was becoming annoyed, and in truth, Martha was annoyed with all the constant hounding, about so-called secrets and special fertilizers. It was enough to drive a person to distraction.
He was so pre-occupied with the growth of her garden, that she could see it started to show in the lack luster performance in his work on the neighborhood yards. Why they didn't complain was beyond her. His voice brought her out back to the current affair at hand.
"Just want the hell are you trying to say, MS.Grim?", Cole said, over-emphasizing the "Ms." part of her title. "Are you saying that you're a better better gardener than I am?" he spat. "Is that it?"
Before she could answer, he slapped his palm on the roof of her car, and continued, "Or are you just too stuck up to share what you got with us 'poor working class' types? What is it lady. You think you're too damn good for us?"
His quick anger caught her off guard, "Mr.Cole, I never said anything of the sort. All I was saying was..."
"All you said was that you thing your too good for us out here trying to make a decent living, while you sit there in that castle of yours not worrying about a goddamn thing! All I ask is a little favor and I get insults from some snooty tight ass bitch!"
She could tell he was getting angrier by the minute. Clearly this had been planned, and nothing she could say was going to soothe this savage, "Why don't we just terminate this conversation right now, Mr.Cole, so that we can both get on with what we were doing. Or about to do." She said, coolly.
"I'm not done with you, bitch!" Willie said between clenched teeth.
"Flattery, will get you nowhere, Mr.Cole. Now move your truck, or I will start a scene so disturbing, that it just might cost you your entire clientele on this street."
She meet his gaze directly.
Willie could tell she was serious just by the way she was looking at him.
He leaned back off the car, just a bit, then said, "OK lady, you win for now, but this ain't over. Not by a long shot. One or another you're gonna tell me what I want to know. Or I might just decide to find out on my own." His smile grew razor flat.
"You might not like what you find, Mr.Cole." She said, as the window returned to its raised position.
Willie got back in his truck and backed up, leaving just enough room for her to pull that old Lincoln out of the driveway. The huge wrought iron gates, closing after it. He watched as she drove out of sight, then turned to see the gates lock tight, closing off the driveway to the Grim house. "I'll get in there." he said to himself out loud,"and I'll get that secret. Even if it means that something unfortunate has to happen to that bitch, I'll get that secret. No matter what it takes."
Putting his truck in gear, he floored the accelerator, squealing the tires as he sped off down the street and onto the main highway.
He would be back.
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To Be Continued....

The Secret Garden Of Martha Grim..
By Richard A. Lopez (c)1992

PAGE 2 Continued...


Yeah, Willie thought, That house was a beauty alright, but only half as beautiful as its owner. Cole thought of Martha Grim as a goddess. Her long, brown hair cascaded down her back, flowing out over her shoulders like a brunette waterfall. He just knew it had the feel of silk. What else could it be. Her face was smooth, flawless.
Not a wrinkle to be seen. The color of creamy, white milk. Every time he had seen her, as she strolled through her garden, wearing those long flowing sundresses. The type that, if the sun hit just right, you could see right though. She had the figure of a model. No...a Greek goddess. Like those statues chiseled from marble.
Yes, Martha, thought Willie, the Gods had been very good to you in that department.
A leering smile slowly made its way across his face. He'd often dreamed, no, fantasized about what it would be like to get the fair Ms.Grim into bed. For now it was just a midnight fantasy. But soon...soon.

Just at that moment, Willie was hit from behind with a splash of cold water that shocked him back to reality.
It was Tommy Hawkins. The little bastard had hit him square in the back with a water balloon.
"You little shit!" Willie yelled, "I'm gonna kick your ass all the way to New Jersey for that one!"
Tommy just laughed, and fired his cap pistol at Cole, twice, as he sped off on his dirt bike.
Willie started to chase after the boy, but thought twice when he saw the kids father pulling into their driveway. John Hawkins got out of his car just as Tommy came riding up. Willie could see him pick the kid up and treat him as if he were an angel.
The little bastard could do no wrong in daddy's eyes. Willie knew better, and so did the kids mother. For now, the Hawkins kid would have to wait. Willie had other things on his mind.
He turned his attention back to the "Jungle House".
The gates of the Grim House were opening. She must be getting ready to go out, he thought.
Quickly, Cole tossed the last of his equipment in the back of his truck, and got in. Starting it up and moving forward slowly. He was going to get a word in with Ms. Grim, today. Whether she liked it or not.

He could see the front hood of Martha's old model Lincoln pulling slowly out of the gate. This was his chance. Willie tapped the gas peddle, the truck lurched forward, the tires squealing on the asphalt. He came to a halt, just in front of her driveway, she had to brake hard to avoid hitting Cole's truck.
Getting out of the truck, Willie sauntered over to the drivers side of Martha's car and motioned for her to roll down the window. Now was just as good a time as any to hit her up for the "secret". She wasn't going anywhere, as long as his truck was blocking the way.
A few minutes passed, and then the window came down a couple of inches. The scent of lilacs hit Cole like a soft slap to the face. She looked at him with a subtle contempt, and spoke at last, "Just what do you think you are doing, Mr.Cole?" The words coming out with just a hint of spite.
Willie put on his best sheepish grin, and tossed his hair with his hand, "Why Ms.Grim, I do believe that you and I were leaving 'bout the same time. I'm awful sorry 'bout that."
The look in her eye's said she wasn't buying it. He had to think fast. Willie was trying to see what she was wearing, but the window was down but a few inches, and the interior was too dark to make out anything but the cold resentful eyes staring back at him.
That, and the scent of perfume...was it lilacs, or roses?
Roses, he thought.
"Yes Mr.Cole, it would seem as such" She said after a what seemed a long while. Her voice, soft but firm. Cold.
Willie just decided to come out and ask, "Well ma'am, now that I got you here, I had been meaning to ask you," he said, trying his best to sound sincere.
"It's about your garden, Ms Grim,"....
He could see it...like a change in a storm, the eyes flashed like lightening....
"Mr.Cole, We have been over this before.."

And now my friends...a little something off the beaten path..

Hi all..I know its been a while, have been busy..and tired..little of both...but see, I was going through my papers and I came across an unfinished something..so over the course of the next fifteen days...I'm going to bore you with a little something I started writing back in '92 Called

THE SECRET GARDEN OF MARTHA GRIM...
By Richard A. Lopez
(c)1992

Willie Cole had been a gardener for three years. Three very hard years, and in that time he had seen many types of landscapes. From Old lady Taylor's weed patch (which she had the nerve to call a lawn), to John Hawkins finely manicured front yard, with the roses his wife loved so much. But he had never seen, nor had he ever been so enticed by grounds such as those of the Grim House.
Or the "Jungle House", as the neighborhood kids referred to Martha Grim's Victorian styled home, on Maplethorn street. Willie serviced just about every house on Maplethorn. Every one that is, but for Ms.Grim's. It was the last house on the that cul-de-sac, a street he considered his own. He'd even gone to such lengths as severly beating one other gardener who had solicited for business on the street.

Yes, Willie thought of this as his street, and he would not rest until the "Jungle House" was his too. The house was completely surrounded by six foot brick wall, topped with deadly looking wrought iron spikes. It was as ominous looking as it was foreboding. The only way in or out, was through an equally high wought iron dual gate, topped with the same vicious looking spikes. Willie had no illusions about the sharpness of those spikes.
Whoever built this baby, was not in the habit of entertaining guests, nor did it appear that there had ever been any.
To the best of his knowledge, Willie could never remember seeing anyone but the owner ever coming or going. Still, the property had to be maintained. But, by who?
He'd been trying to get the Grim account for two years, only to be turned down, every time. From he could make out, while working on the Simpson house directly across the way, when he looked through the gates, he could see an almost obscenly green lawn covering every square inch from gate to front door.

The sun was blocked by the shade of two huge Oak trees, they shaded just about everything, yet the flowers still bloomed! And what flowers! The colors, purples and greens, blues and yellows. So vibrant that they almost hurt to look at. The roses were the scariest of all. Big as softballs, but the color, The color is what got him. The red was so deep, almost as dark as blood. He'd never seen a rose so dark a red.
For the most part, he could recognize a few of the shrubs and plants, but the majority of the flowers eluded him. Try as he might, even going to the local library yeilded no results. That did not concern him, though. What did was the colors.
So vibrant, so deep. They almost seemed alive. Almost hypnotic.
If he could only get her secret, he'd make money hand over fist.
"Yeah," he wondered aloud.."If only I could get that broads secret to what kind of fertalizer she was using, I'd have all these losers paying mega-bucks to have flower beds as beautiful as hers."
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To be continued....

I think I have shown in the past, some of the things that I do to chill out.


Yeah, I make things...this is a buffalo Jawbone club...
I also do bead work...nothing extravagant, just simple bracelets and necklaces..it helps me calm down. Never thought I could till I tried..

What I do to relax..

I like working with Bone and other natural stone,horn...natural colors and trade beads..Like I said, simple work.


The skull piece is my favorite...


To make a piece, for myself, my wife, a friend...its personal to me..I put a lot into it...my thoughts, my feelings...myself.

The chest holds pieces that I made on a whim, but I use to basically "Cannibalize" to make new creations....plus having a bead store close to my work, helps too.
I wonder..what do you people that read my paltry bog of a blog do to relax..chill, or just do????

Me...I'm going to make a few more bracelets...its a thing I do...

A year ago....

I managed to get a certain piece in just passed the wire...mainly speaking just passed the 12:00 hour..needless to say I didn't make the time and it came out a day late and a dollar short.

Not that it's a big deal, I don't make that big a deal out of this day anymore...just another day to me...but I do write about things like this, so I figured, why not.

Hey..new house, new year...new dog even..hell, even have a new job...new shit all the way around...so why the hell not.

If you must know, I'm turning 46 today...yeah..another year older..the dog is having his day. Like I said, just another day to me. Nothing special, just cake and ice cream..wife and the kids(dogs)...and 112 degree heat...gotta love the desert..

its 1 AM now and its 97 degrees...how's that for a birthday gift?

So..A year later..am I where I want to be? Personally, yes and no...yes, I'm in my own home..finally not paying some other assholes house payment...making this assholes house payment..hahahahha!

no..in a sense that the new job is not what I expected it to be..the Tedium is driving me nuts. It's boring, the people are standoffish...and did I say it was boring...I feel like a legalized drug pusher...AND I SWEAR...If one more person yells at me because they can't get their damn drugs..I'm going apeshit on their asses....

I've started writing again..guess that's a plus. A friend has also suggested a writing project as well..so that may be in the works...
My film needs work...my partner, well...he needs a kick in the ass...nuff said.

I'm still blogging...the people that read my blog, are still here..some new ones come by...but the ones that are most important to me, you know who you are...are still here..and that is a big plus.


So what's in a day...a life, a time...a dream...well I don't do that anymore..but if I did, I'm sure this would be one of them.

Peace.

what's in a name?......

A - You can be very quiet when you have
something on your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to
meeting new people.
C - You definitely have a partying side in you,
don't be shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judge mental.
I - You are always smiling & making others
smile.
J - Jealousy.
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to
people's standards.
V - You have a very good physical and looks.
W - You like your privacy .
X - You never let people tell you what to do .
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z - You're always fighting with someone...
_____________________________________________

What mine says....

W - You like your privacy .
O - You are very open-minded.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
F - Everyone loves you.
I - You are always smiling & making others
smile.
E - You are a very exciting person.

Funny thing is, it's not too far off from my real name, and not too far from the truth...Well, maybe the part about everyone loving me...but I do have my moments...hahahaha!
OK, you read it, Tag, your it...just copy and paste...

Why look


someone I met was tired of looking and looking and not finding, that special someone...I didn't know what to say, so I just came up with this..



You seek, you find, you wish you didn't...you look again, and there it isn't...you look where it was, its not there anymore...you look where it went, it just left...
you get tired, you get angry, you get hurt, you just want it to go away...and then one day, you turn around and it's there to stay.

That People, is the elusive beast called love.
When you least expect it, it's there where you never thought it would be.
Whole trick is, stop looking, and let it come looking for you.


that's the Gospel according to Wolfie...may be full of it, but it worked for me...

that's it...no more...go home...What did you expect? the Dahli Lama..hahahahaha!

Well,I guess I'll take a poke at Pooh's meme..(Somehow that does't sound right...)and where Annie did Three, I'll do four...

*Where is your cell phone? On the end table.
*Relationship? In for the term
*Your hair? Short, Dark and curly
*Work? Tedious, boring annoyingly frustrating
*Your sister? Thief, liar schemer schmuck.
*Your favorite thing? long uninterrupted lazy days
*Your dream last night? I don't dream anymore.
*Your favorite drink? Lipton's Green Iced Tea
*Your dream car? blue/white 57 Chevy
* The room you’re in? my big airy den
* Your shoes? Lugz Boots various ones
* Your fears? not death, not anymore
* What do you want to be in 10 years? here, in my home
* Who did you hang out with this weekend? Wife,dogs and TV
* What you’re not good at? Money,Math,saying goodbye
* Muffin? Banana nut and Oatmeal
* One of your wish list items? To meet one friend
* Where you grew up? East Los Angeles, projects
* The last thing you did? list Comics in database
* What are you wearing? Shorts,shirt,skin, hair
* What aren’t you wearing? shoes, socks, a smile
* Your pet? two dog, unsociable fish
* Your computer? link to my friends
* Your life? Its here for now
* Your mood? comfortably numb and sleepy
* Missing? dreams, I used to
* What are you thinking about right now? sleep, is it there?
* Your car? my fortress of solitude
* Your kitchen? it's not mine,really
* Your summer? no different, I'm working
* Your favorite color? twilight blue-black dawn
* When is the last time you laughed? earlier today I think
* Last time you cried? four years ago, may
* School? not some fondly remembered
* Love? A dream I had

Sheriff Baca said Friday that while Hilton was imprisoned for three days at the Century Regional Detention Facility, her "medical condition had been deteriorating," though he did not reveal the nature of the ailment. He did say, however, that Hilton had been on medication prior to being jailed, but was not taking any while she was imprisoned.

Holding a one-page medical evaluation, he said: "This is the evidence that this lady has some severe problems."

SHEEEEEEEIT!

That's why I never voted for the foker when I lived in Cali..HE'S AN ASSHOLE!

Righteous Indignation!

Three fucking days! not even a fucking week! a couple of fucking hours if that!
The skeezy bitch goes to jail and the bastards give her a fucking bye...
WTF!?!

I mean really, What the fuck is up with that shit!
Oh, btw, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm talking about Paris "I'm only so-called famous for my families money" Hilton,
AND HER SO-CALLED JAIL SENTENCE!

WHAT A FUCKING JOKE!
You know damn well, if this were you or I, we'd be cooling our heels in county..not some private freaking cell! I MEAN REALLY. I'M GONNA DRIVE RECKLESS, GET BUSTED AND DEMAND TO BE TREATED LIKE A HILTON! EXCEPT, INSTEAD OF GOING TO JAIL, I WANT TO GO TO ONE OF THEIR FREAKING HOTELS! I'M THINKING VEGAS....

This dumb broad, thinks she's royalty because her family has real estate...BIG FUCKING DEAL!
If she were, she'd be a sad disappointment to em..Hell, she's been a sad fucking disappointment.

Let's dissect this shall we:

Hilton will be under home confinement, wearing an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet, for the remaining 40 days of her sentence for violating probation in a reckless driving case.
chilling in the lap of luxury on the taxpayers dime!

The celebrity inmate was sent home from the L.A. County jail's Lynwood lockup shortly after 2 a.m., a stunning reduction to a sentence that already had been cut from 45 to 23 days because of "good behavior." Another two days were lopped off the original 45 since she checked in late Sunday and left early Thursday, earning credit for five days served.
Can you say someone's palm got greased!

No details were available on the nature of Hilton's medical condition. Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore refused to answer questions about whether it was physical or psychological.
What,they don't have tampons at the lynwood facility?? Shame on you Sheriff

"I can't specifically talk about the medical situation other than to say that yes, it played a part in this," Whitmore said at an early morning news conference outside the jail. Can you say Period? I knew that you could...

Hilton's lawyer and publicist did not return calls seeking comment. he's in Bermuda!

On Sunday night, after a surprise red-carpet appearance at the MTV Movie Awards, Hilton surrendered to authorities with little fanfare. Yeah, only 50 papperazzi were there, not the usual 125!

"I am trying to be strong right now," she told reporters at the time. "I'm ready to face my sentence. Even though this is a really hard time, I have my family, my friends and my fans to support me, and that's really helpful." BULLSHIT!

Hilton was housed in the "special needs" unit of the 13-year-old jail, separate from most of its 2,200 inmates. The unit contains 12 two-person cells reserved for police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates. Hilton didn't have a cellmate. What? that little rat she calls a dog didn't count?

Like other inmates in the special-needs area, Hilton took meals in her cell and was allowed outside for at least an hour each day to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone. SHE HAD TO SHOWER...WITH OTHER PEOPLE!

When Hilton was sentenced May 4, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled she would not be allowed any work release, furloughs or use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. GUESS THE PRICE WAS WRONG, BOB...

Whitmore said Thursday that Sauer "was consulted and he was advised" about her early release. OOP'S...GUESS THAT PRICE WAS RIGHT, BOB..D'OH

Hilton's path to jail began when she was arrested Hilton in Hollywood on Sept. 7. She pleaded no contest to reckless driving and was sentenced to 36 months' probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines.. CAN YOU SAY "DROP IN THE BUCKET FOR DADDY"



On Jan. 15 she was pulled over by the California Highway Patrol. Informed that her license was suspended, Hilton signed a document acknowledging she was not to drive. Then, on Feb. 27, she was pulled over a third time, which led to her brief incarceration THREE TIMES! ONE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH!

Her new lockup is a four-bedroom, three-bathroom, Spanish-style home on .14 acres above the Sunset Strip. OM-FUCKING-G! What would they have given her if she had hit someone...FRANCE!

Of all this bullshit, and it is utter bullshit...this is the one line that bothers me the most:
Whitmore said Thursday that Sauer "was consulted and he was advised" about her early release.
Judges are supposed to be the pillars of the Law...This is just fucked...and why I got out when I did...I could not see going through all those years of school and then see this happen.
I'd've give up my law career on the spot.

This goes beyond a travesty...this is plane and simple blind injustice.

Let's do it again!

Come on people...what ya doing right now???? Yeah, I'm bored..so what?


1. What is your occupation?
Glorified phone jockey(mail order pharmacy)


2. What colour are your socks right now?
black

3. What are you listening to right now?
jazz


4. What was the last thing you ate?
a turkey sandwich


5. What are you wearing?
jeans and a t-shirt


6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
blue

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
doctors appt. nurse

8. What is your best feature?
don't have one(own opinion)

9. How old are you today?
45
10. Favourite drink?
iced tea

11. What is your favourite sport to watch?
football(american)

12. Have you ever dyed your hair?
no

13. Pets?
two dogs(they allow me to live there)

14. Favourite food?
Meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

15. What was the last movie you watched?
Kingdom of Heaven(dvd)

16. Favourite day of the year?
Halloween

17. What do you do to vent anger?
used to hit things..now I craft.

18. What was your favourite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels Cars...They were cool!

19. Autumn or spring?
autumn

20. Hugs or kisses?
both

21. Cherries or Blueberries?
cherries..should see what I can do with a stem..

22. What is your favourite item of clothing?
jeans

23. Living arrangements?
own..

24. When was the last time you cried?
four years ago

25. What did you do last night?
slept

26. Favourite smells?
flour tortillias being made, cooking..

27. What inspires you?
life..

28. What are you afraid of?
losing my self

29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
cheese

30. Favourite dog breed?
mutts..

31. Number of keys on your keyring?
six

32. How many years at your current job(s)?
less than a year

33. Favourite day of the week?
friday

34. How many country's you lived in?
one...

35. Favourite holiday destination?
home..

36. What do you dislike the most?
bullshitters..

37. What is your favourite fashion brand?
casual

38. What is your favourite clothes shop?
anywhere...






shoot me later,..just copy and paste....then write in your own answers...

eh...yeah.


I came into work today...I think I've taken a total of 7 calls over the past five hours that I've been here...WOW!
I'm getting paid for this shit.

It would be great if I had something to do....but I don't.

The tedium of this job is going to kill me...

thats it....

DYJHIW!!!

Taking a page from my good friend, Annie, I'm borrowing one of her favorite sayings
"Don't ya just hate it when..."
You check and double check to make sure you're not working on a holiday, then you come in and find that someone signed you up anyway!

The Rat Bastards!

Last week I was off a day and a half because I had to undergo a medical test that had me taking home an Ambulatory EEG. I was hooked up to this portable get up with wires and all attached to my head, needless to say it would have been a distraction at work. So, in doing so, I had no idea of the fiendish things that were conspiring and brewing whilst I was away.

See, at my job, if you want to work the holiday, they pass around a "volunteer" book, you sign up, get to work it..get your holiday pay, and time and a half, all that good shit...but..if they don't get enough people, then they draft.

Well, when I returned to work on Monday, I checked my emails. Nothing about Wolfie working on the Holiday.
Tuesday, figured I better be thorough...I check with my boss, he says "Nope...you're not on the list."
OK..so I'm jazzing...four day weekend...

Then I come in today, and on my desk is this slip of paper, with a schedule...MY SCHEDULE! Says I'm working Monday...WTF!

So I go to my boss, he's like, "Don't know, nobody told me.."
After some go round, I find out they put me on the draft...never sent me an email telling me..never asked me to volunteer......not a goddamn thing!

Now Wolfie's Pissed off! Why? I know it's my job, but that's not the freaking point..

IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE FUCKING THING!

If I gotta work, fine! But at least tell me, send me the goddamn email and let a brother know ahead of time..don't come to me in the 11Th hour and say "Guess What?"
That's bullshit!

And here's the kicker....I start a new shift on Tuesday...4:45 am to 1:30 pm....and the bastards wanted me to work till 9:00 pm on Monday!
BITE ME!

They gave me 8:00 pm..big Frigging Deal....

Pity the poor mother fucker that gets me come Tuesday morning...

WHERE DO YOU FIT IN????

In the grand scheme of things, have you ever wondered just where exactly
you fit in?
Are you just a speck...A point to be made.
Are you that all important fill in that is going to make great strides in the
marching band that moves along?
Are you the hero who is going to save the day, or the villain who'll be remembered
for all eternity as the destroyer of lives?

Are you the one who is going to be sacrificed for the good of mankind?
Or are you just going to sit on the sidelines, while all that happens around you, passes by, and you blow with proverbial dust...ever endless on the shifting winds.

What part are you playing in this great play?
Ever ask yourself that?
Or do you even care?

Is your life full of meaning? is there purpose in what you do?
if so, then do you greet each day with a smile? or wish it would just role up and go away till you're ready to deal with it.

I sit in a cubicle, about 5 x 5 square..that is my world, and it sucks.
This cannot be life! There has to be more. I can't believe this is it for me.
life will not end here..taking orders over the damn phone for a bunch of bossy people who have nothing better to do than yell at you for their goddamn Viagra!

Where do I fit in the Big Picture?

I don't know yet..But I'm damn well gonna find out.

The King is Dead...BYE BYE!!!

The Religious right lost their big gun today...Jerry Falwell, Founder of the
famed Moral Majority (yes, my eyes are rolling in my head as I right this..)
and Staunch supporter of the right wing relgious community, passed away today at the ripe old age of 73.

Seems his ticker just gave out on him..Guess he's not built like Oral.
Actually I should say, I guess he didn't have Oral around to "Raise" him up from the dead..

OH BROTHER!

Ya know, Falwell was the Usurper of the religious world. He moved in on the Baker's when Jim had his meltdown..You know that was a strategic move..They show up like the something out of the Mephis Mafia, and say "Jimbo, We're gonna have to shut you down"
and they pack him off to the looney bin, meanwhile his wife, Max Factor's worst nightmare goes off to be on reality shows....

Well, Jerry and the gang, go on to basically tell everyone this is the way you're gonna live, cause ya'll been living like heathen slobs...

Yeah, yeah, blah blah...

This is the man who said he had a personal connection with God...Well I guess we're gonna find out just how personal, eh?

I'm sorry if you all find this a bit sarcastic, but personally, I could not stand the Self rigteous bastard.
Anyone, and I mean anyone who places themselves above others, using and hiding behind religion to do so, bites, in my book....
---------------------------------------------------------

sometimes I have to keep reminding myself...why. and I hate that. I shouldn't have to, but when I get yelled at and attitude, for no damn good reason, I get freaking tired of it....

Sometimes its all just bullshit.

Zombified work settings....

So, what do you do when you're at work and you're bored out of your skull?
You can only surf the net so much, ya know.

I have literally fallen asleep....TWICE! I've run out of material to read!
This is ridicules. I've had security guard jobs that were more exciting.

I don't know, maybe its just me...maybe I've reached that point in my life
where I need something more. I'm not talking about a mid-life crisis...haha
I'm not ready to go out and trade the Wolfie mobile in for a little red sports
car...and I'm already married to a blond, so that's out.
I don't know...It's me. I used to write, alot. A friend of mine and I used
to write short stories like crazy...we'd sit in a room and blast out story
after story...subject didn't matter, we were writing.

Then he moved away...

And slowly, I developed writers block...25 years of writers block...It has been terrible.
I used to write poetry, short stories, even worked on a play...but all of
it is gone..
It shows up every now and then...but vague,ambiguous..never making itself known.
I'm talking about my muse. Ali writers have one...so they say. Mine took a 25 year
vacation.
One day I'll find it...Who knows, it might show up just when I least expect it and really need it...
right now, I think I need it.

I'm dying here. I feel stunted...sucked into a void..a sea of endless cubes, heads popping up and down, like prairie dogs, eye's searching faces, everyone wanting to say
"hey, sit and talk abit...PLEASE!" but no one dares...they just stare...
and I look out into the night....waiting to take flight...at least for a time..
then the day comes and I have to start all over again...
the cycle never ends...

I have to get out of this place...before it makes me loonier
than I already am...

The Wolf is back....AGAIN...

Yeah yeah I know, WTF is this? Well I'll tell you. It's called Freaking Overtime...and in a veiled way, it's mandatory, but it's not mandatory..

Let me explain. We get this email that our department is not meeting its productivity...OK, so we get a call for OT. First they say, "hey guys, can you each put in about a half-hour, maybe an hour a week...due to blah, blah blah.."

OK..Wolfie's a stand up guy, he takes one for the team..puts in three hours one week.
Then we get another email..."Hey guys, blah blah, yadda yadda, an two to three hours each, this week...or more.."

So Wolfie sticks it out..and puts in another four more hours....

Then I go in one day, and there's this flyer on my desk...Asking for at least 2 hours a day of OT...WHAT THE FUCK!

OK, I'm Sorry, the money may be OK..but it ain't that great. I mean, I look around, and I don't see a lot of other peeps staying later..coming in earlier....HELL NO..Them fuckers have caught on. They're the ones that have been here a while and know, once they get and hour, they what two..give em two, they what four..and so on..
It don't take a brick to hit me...I see the newbies getting hit up with the OT..and only certain old-timers always signing up for OT..The one's that "Live" for the job.
Other's are like, "Uhhh, No."
Because they know what I've figured a long while ago...The OT money gets eaten up in the taxes. So if you want to see a big pay day, ya have to work Shit-loads...And I ain't killing myself for a J.O.B.

So Wolfie's back...to his Regular schedule...Ain't you all HAPPY.

THAT WASN'T A QUESTION....

HA!

Welcome back to the Wolf's Den...


I have a host of friends...and thanks for all the well wishes, yes, I read them all..The sinus problem pretty much has passed for now. But then Spring has just begun, so I guess I'm gonna have to deal with it, eh..

Well, Time passes...and work, has been ever the wonder. I thought I had a mouth...Ya ain't heard nothing till you've been cussed out by a 67 year old woman who's pissed because she ain't getting her drugs on time! DAMN! Talk about a potty mouth..HAHAHAHAA! It is to laugh..I'm telling you. They think that we do it to them on purpose...Never mind the fact that we've just had a major influx of business, more patients and more business from the Government. They don't care, they just want their damn medications!

Freaking people...

Oh well. And to top it off, company says we have to work overtime due to the department has not met it's standards...BASTARDS! I know its some green in the wallet, but damn, what ever happened to OT being voluntary?
So now I have to put in Two hours on Wednesday and Thursday...I chose the morning..need to be out of there at my regular time. Upsets Bear's schedule, ya know.
Plus there's a new reason...

Meet the new addition to the Wolfie Household!



I just adopted her today...She's a 10 month old Australian Shepard mix, I already have a name picked out for her..Dotty. See, she has this spot, right in the middle of her forehead..about the size of a thumbprint. She's a sweetheart. And yes, I feel in love with her right away...She's going to be spayed this weekend and I can pick her up on Monday.
bear needs a companion.
He's getting lonely.
I need two dogs in the house..its fun that way.

Hey...how ya been?

A question I've been asked a lot, lately...and I'll tell you, I've been lousy.
Ya know why...I moved to this dry climate, hoping that my sinus condition would be better, is it?
HELL NO!

We got freakin' Trees everywhere! And what do the damn trees bring with em?

POLLEN! The damn Pollen count is higher than anything....So where has Wolfie been?

Sneezing...trying to freaking breathe with a stuffed up head..and eyes so red and watery he almost walked into two doors, three walls, a table, the dog, the kitchen counter, and the couch!

Oh go on..laugh...

I haven't felt this bad since I was twelve years old...and when I was a kid, ya couldn't give us anything but St.Joseph's children's aspirin...and that didn't do shit!

I used to sleep, sitting up..

I spent last Sunday, on the couch...sitting up..only got two hours sleep..missed two days of work..I'm telling you it was bad.

Just barely getting over it now...only I have one eye that's redder than a rat's eye and I sound like a frog.

Life is fun, ain't it...


Hi people...

Bereavement


Loss is an interesting thing....I know he was a dog, but I never thought that it would affect me like this...he just went to sleep..so peaceful.

See, It's like this...Bruno had reached the point where he was having periods of lucidity, and periods where he would look at us, my wife and I...and Bear for that matter, and wouldn't recognize us. He would growl, or bark or even snap at us...Things that I had done hundreds of times prior, such as place his pillow down for him, scratch his ears, or even place his water dish down for him...drew a growl or sharp bark.

Last Monday, he nipped at my wife...I knew it wasn't his fault, this damn disease was eating him alive..I scolded him, lightly..my wife was OK..but I was worrying..

She told me he'd been fighting and snapping at Bear...I started to notice that he was having periods of staring...looking at me like he didn't know me...his ears would fold back..even his lips would curl...Then I'd speak to him..a little song I'd made up about his name..and he'd wag his tail...and it was Bruno.

Then Saturday night, I got his pillow and placed it down for him. Patted it..and he snapped at me. The way he looked..it wasn't Bruno. I said "NO!" Sharply...he backed down...I let him sniff my hand, his tail wagged, it was Bruno again.

I didn't sleep well.

Sunday morning...We were having coffee, I tried to feed him, he wouldn't eat..hadn't eaten all week....I scratched his ears, said its OK...eat when you can...my wife walked over to him, said "here Bruno, let me clean your eyes"...something she'd done a hundred times before...What happened next, wasn't Bruno..he bit my wife's hand..drew blood...

It wasn't Bruno...the look in his eyes..he didn't know who I was....fifteen minutes later, he was wagging his tail...like nothing happened...it was Bruno.

I helped my wife tend to her hand.
I had a decision to make.
The one I didn't want to.
But I had to think of my wife..what if he has a moment like this and I'm not here...or what if it does happen and he doesn't come back? how would I stop him then?
only way I know how...

On Sunday, March 25Th, I took my boy to the Vets....and did what I had to do...and I feel terrible about it.
It wasn't his fault. This damn disease was eating him alive...he weighed 82 pounds...in three months..he went from 139 pounds to 82! Most of that from December to January.
He went to sleep in my lap...he just went to sleep..and I held him and I cried. I cried because I was losing my boy..my friend, my Bruno....

Today, I received a sympathy card from the Veterinarian that helped me..I didn't expect that. It was very nice.

I still feel like shit..partly because my sinuses are acting up...but mostly because of what I did...I know what I did was the right thing..so everyone tells me...doesn't make me feel better..

Just something I'll have to deal with.

Goodbye Bruno.

Bruno...June 18, 2000-March 25, 2007
He was my friend...
He was my boy....
He was Bruno...
He will be with me, always.
Go with the Wolf Spirit....

YA KNOW IT'S MONDAY.....



When you had a nice relaxing weekend, and you wake up to a phone call...and its the wife, and she tells you..."Guess what.."

Yeah, that was the beginning of my fucking day. GUESS WHAT?

Me: (half dead) "Wha? Who...?"
Wife: "It's me...you awake?"
Me: "Yeah..(half truth), What's up?"
At this point I'm figuring there's a problem with the car...or she's calling me to tell me her sister is coming to stay for a week ...something she would have waited to tell me after she left..why? just to because, I was sleeping and it seemed like a good idea at the time..

Wife: "You're gonna kill me...I took your phone."
Me: (looking at the clock..I still have 45 minutes before I have to get up..) "OK..just turn it off and put it in your purse. That way no one will bother you if it rings. If I have to call you I can use the common phone at work.."

Wife: "OK..I won't answer it anyway..only one who calls you is Ryan..."
Me: Yeah, and the damn mortgage lenders..that's why I say turn it off..that way you're not bothered..and if Ryan calls you can answer it and give him a heart attack...(long story)."

Wife: Laughing "ok...bye..did I wake you?"
Me: "Yes...but you knew that..."


OK..so I go back to bed for 45 minutes..YES I GOT MY 45 minutes! Got up, showered..got dressed, got the dogs fed..well one of them..Bruno's not eating again...tried to get him to eat something..got my coffee...checked my emails..and left..running late...on the way to work I found I had forgotten my lunch..would have turned around to go get it and could have called and said I was running late, but one problem...NO PHONE!

So I go to work..walk in, only to find, THEY MOVED MY DESK! NICE! There was no email on Thursday...nothing. I'm wondering, WHERE THE HELL DO I SIT?

I find my desk..no help from the Supervisors...all my stuff is unceremoniously dumped on it....Luckily, they had to wait for me to get into the old desk..I had the key...HAHAHAHAHAHA! BASTARDS!

OH! AND HERE'S THE KICKER...I SPEND THE NEXT 46 minutes trying to log in to computer that has a pop-up blocker assigned to the log in screen...WHO THE FUCK SETS THE POP UP BLOCKER TO THE LOG IN SCREEN?
Someone who doesn't do their fucking work, that's who!

So my day goes on..everyone I was familiar with....gone...all assigned elsewhere.
The day goes on...and I come home.

I try to talk to my wife about my day, and she's not in the mood to listen...OH, BF-FUCKING-D! I have to listen to every freaking problem that goes on in her office, I need to vent a little, I get "if you're going to bitch, go in the other room"...

FINE!

FUCK IT!

I'LL TAKE MY VENTING TO MY BLOG..I don't care...


I Still slept in.....so there...blah!

I FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING.....


I Wiki'd this and came back with the following....


Patient advocacy refers to speaking on behalf of a patient in order to protect their rights and help them obtain needed information and services. The role of patient advocate is frequently assumed by nurses, social workers, and other healthcare providers. Some hospitals, health insurance companies, and other healthcare organizations employ people specifically to assume this role.

Now, It strikes me as funny....funny strange, not funny "ha-ha".....that if someone is assuming the role of "advocacy on your behalf, you would take the time to be a bit more freaking courteous to them...Right?

And you'd think, that a person that has been on this earth for Ninety fucking years would have the common decency to be a bit more polite to someone who's trying to help them and get them their medication, RIGHT?


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I GET CALLED AN ASSHOLE.....

Not only today..no, all fucking week...its like someone put the bitchy pills out and these bastards OD'D on them!

I've been called about everything there is to be called by men, and women alike, some younger than I..many much more older than I am..and some older than dirt!

WHY?

Because they feel justified yelling at a disembodied voice on the phone...that's why.

But do I get mad?


no.


fuck em if they can't take a joke.

I do my job, get them their meds...and go on my merry way....

Thank god there isn't any traffic at night....

TIME..

It has a magazine named after it, songs, sonnets and poems have given voice to it.
Movies are made about, machines are built to back into, rivers ebb and flow into it, we spring forward and fall back into it...What's the big deal about it?

People are always spending time, wasting time, losing time, taking time, sharing time. They want "me" time, your time, my time, our time..time well spent, time to waste, time to go, time after time, back in time, giving time, having the time of their lives, having too much time on our hands, not enough time in the day, time flies, time bandits,time savers, time slips away...
It always seems to go by so fast when you're having fun, but drag when you're somewhere you don't want to be.


So we turn our clocks forward to lose some sleep so that we can gain some time in the long run..One of these days I'd like to catch this so-called long run everyone seems all fired up to save for...

But like the song says..."time is flowing like a river...to the sea..Where its gone, forever....gone forever....gone forever..more"

til the next time, that is....

I can't help but wonder....

Monday, I as I was fixing Bruno his meager breakfast of a few turkey slices, and when he didn't eat them..I don't know, I guess I just had enough...it was just me and the dogs, after all, but I decided that the Great Spirit and I were going to have it out!

Look, you wanna call him God, Jehovah, whatever...I call him the Great Spirit..and in my belief, I don't need a go between to talk to him...

So this is how it went...

Me: What!..What the hell do you want? He's just a dog...It's not fair...He hasn't done anything to you..to anyone! he's just a dog. You took my mother, and she believed in you...believed that you would let her go peacefully in her sleep, but no. You had to let those bastards take her piece by piece..even when she begged for release, you still had to let her hang on....not till you were good and ready!
And my mother in law! You let that disease eat her alive...And now this! HE JUST A FUCKING DOG!
WHAT DO YOU WANT? PENANCE?

FOR WHAT? FOR WHAT? I'm not doing it! I've had it!
You want to take him, fine! but do it! enough of this shit!..he's just a damn dog...
just let him go in peace....."


Well, I don't know what happened, Bruno has gotten so thin, I thought for sure I'd wake up and he was going to be gone...but Tuesday, I was making Bear's food, and Bruno wouldn't let me out of the door..he kept sniffing at the bowl.
So I said "you want this?" and I put the bowl down...and he ate it...all!

I was stunned.

he not only ate the food that morning, but he ate that night, the next morning, and evening...

I'm no fool...It may be just a spurt, but I'll wait and see...stranger things have happened.

Arms may be too short to box with the man...but my voice is loud enough to be heard.




sorry if I offended anyone.

Life and Taxes..

You know, I have been paying the taxman for twenty six years...ever since I was 19 years old..and ya know what? I haven't gotten a decent refund since those days of minimum wage!

I mean, come on...I have been getting stuck by the man ever since then...and I've always played my cards straight up...Still, no refund for Wolfie..
I get married...and its like I got penalized. We get hit every damn year. I know clowns that have claimed deductions they don't have..non-existent children and such..and have gotten back refunds...and still, Wolfie plays it fare...

Why?
Because I was raised, you don't cheat the government...

Yeah...but yet the bastards nickle and dime the hell out of me, every fucking year!
And TAX CUT? Yeah..Screw that program...they charge you 15.00 to file electronically, and then take a 2% cut off the top...SOME TAX CUT!

AND I STILL DIDN'T GET A FREAKING REFUND!

I buy a house...I can't use it till next year!

"oh, you shoulda had kids..."
WELL I DON'T HAVE ANY FREAKING KIDS!...So I should be penalized for that! is that Fair?

26 years..for 26 years they have been nickle and dimming me..taking every damn dime, and telling me.."oh mr.Wolfie...you make too much for the free program, but not enough for a refund...Sorry.."
Well guess what, Asshole, I got a house this time..and next year I'm gonna do the nickle and dimming..and I'm gonna get me a refund...And you can kiss my furry ass!

And that's my fucking two cents..




They'll probably tax that too..

Random testing...oh boy..(insert sarcasm here)

Well I show up to work the other day, and they tell me "Guess what? you have to go to HR and get the paperwork for your random drug test..."

Wolfie: "Excuse me?"(rather befuddled)

Boss: "Yeah, they do these random test and you were chosen..."

Wolfie: "Why me? I haven't bothered anyone lately...."

Boss: "hey, you get to do it on company time..so that's a plus."

Wolfie: "Woo-hoo! I get to go pee in a cup on the jobs dime..how exciting.."


This is such a pain in the ass..I took one when I was hired..I had to drive 27 miles to piss in a cup..and now this. Talk about stupid...What, did they lose my results?

Freaking morons.

Oh yeah..he had a bad day last week..he must be using drugs!

Bastards!

I oughta get Bruno to pee in it...Man, would that freak them out...

ya know, I could see if I worked with dangerous chemicals....explosives..carried a gun..but I work in a damn call center...want am I gonna do, answer the phone the wrong way?

Why don't they bug the Pharmacy techs..they work with the drugs..I can't even get near em if I tried...I'm nowhere near them...

Damn paranoid bosses..

-------------------------------------

LIFE...PART 3...

Marriage. The next step in the evolution of life. Was a very interesting thing..
We had two receptions, why? because our folks, actually, her mom didn't want to attend the one that my dad threw.

yeah, that was fun.

We went to Lake Tahoe...had a great time, won some money, came back and two months later I was put in the hospital.
Why? I had a grand mal seizure...lost a whole day of my life....I want it back, dammit!

several pills...and 11 +years later, here we are. My dog is dying from cancer...my mother in law died from cancer...my mom died from complications of diabetes...and I left California..with my wife, and my dogs, and I have a house.

Today, I took my Bruno to the Oncologist...the news wasn't good. Even with Chemo, they only gave him a year...The only thing we can do is make him comfortable.
So Bruno and I went for a drive today. No matter what happens..if tonight is his last, I'll remember him in the back seat of my car...enjoying the ride...

Still, that question begs at the back of my head..."what are you gonna do with the time you've been given, bunkie?"

From here on out..who knows..guess ya just play it by ear.

LIFE....IN 3 PARTS....


When someone comes into this world..you or I. The optimist would say that we are born anew. Given a fresh start with a life full of possibilities.
The pessimist, on the other hand, would say that we have just begun that long slow road to death.
Yet there are those still in betweeners(as I like to call my self), that say, we have been given the time....Now whatcha gonna do with it Bunkie?

Yes, sometimes it gets cut short....but there are the lucky few that get to live to that so-called "ripe old age"

Used to be revered....But is that so, nowadays?

With health care and insurances being what they are..who cares for the elderly? Some would say their families..but is that really so? I've seen so many just tossed aside, or left to fend on their own, that it scares the hell out of me, the thought of growing old.
And I have no children.

but I digress...I did say three parts.

When I was a child, hell when we were all children, did we worry about the future?
NO!
Our biggest worries were what we'd get for Christmas, our birthday's, and what we were going to be for Halloween.
Is Ronnie down the block going to be Superman this year?
I hope I get that new Hot Wheels set....with the loop the loop track!
I want a Bike for Christmas...my brother better not get one..I've been better than he has!

Shit like that.

We played...watched cartoons...went to school...traded marbles, cards...read comics..
never gave a care to the struggles of some old bastards starting conflicts over a rice paddy half a world away.

Till one day you're playing with a friend, and a bottle comes crashing too close for comfort. And you find out it wasn't because you did something wrong, really...it was because you were the wrong color..or actually, he was...and the assholes marching down the street for so-called peace, took exception to a Mexican-American kid, playing with his black friend...

Yeah..I never could understand that one...even as I was helping my friend clean the soda and glass from his hair...

later in life I came to find the group that sponsored the "rally", MECHA, were supposed to be all for the betterment of the Chicano people.

All these years they've been around and they haven't done a damn thing for the Chicanos but changed them from Chicanos to "Hispanics" Rah! Rah!

As I grew, I found that I was supposed to "do" something with my life.
my friend and I always wanted to write...we wrote short stories that never got anywhere....but we wrote. that was the point.
A few published poems...and some turned downed short stories...my ass headed off to college to think about teaching.

Real life can through curves at you like crazy.
I never finished..it got too expensive. I worked..went from relationship to relationship...and wondered that question again...

"You've have been given the time....Now whatcha gonna do with it Bunkie?"

I got married.

two parts down...

What I find Interesting......


My mother used to say, "Two things you discuss with Wolfie are Politics and Religion...Why? Because you're going to be in for an argument that you're never going to hear the end of...."

My mother knew me like no other...

See, being that I am was raised a catholic, and choosing to be not a practicing catholic, has sometimes cause a stir amongst members in my family. I could never understand the duality of the church. Much less the hypocrisy...I once had an hour long, and often loud, debate with a guy who refused, rather vehemently mind you, to admit that Jesus Christ was not a Catholic and the founder of Roman Catholicism.

Barr the fact that Christ was a Hebrew...
Actually a Nazarene....

Needless to say that he was totally frustrated by the end of the hour, and would not talk to me for a few weeks...not that I cared, but it was ridiculous that here we have an association that deems itself so important, that they would have the audacity to try and change history...

So...Religion...has started wars, ended empires, and caused one certain resident Wolf's brother to be a total ass...

See, long story short, Dumbass decided to have an affair, times three...OK like I said, he's an ass...he also got caught.
Any self-respecting wife would have kicked his ass out on his ear...BUT NOOOOOO.
Sis-in-law takes him back..okay, their business....fine with that. But, see, my sister in law belongs to the Jehovah's Witness faith, and well, they decided that my bro should do PENANCE.....YEAH, You got...THEY DECIDED. See, she told everyone..my family, hers, the church..OY!

His Penance?

He was Shunned. No talkie. He could go to meetings(church), but could not sit with his family, and no one could talk to him for one year.

he took it...

He also dealt with it...with alcohol.

See, now, I'm not condoning what the dumbass did...he was wrong...stupid and wrong.
BUT! She took him back. Her Choice! So, anything that went on should have stayed between them..plain and simple.

So, his daughter, first born girl is getting married...Oh happy day, right?
Yeah...

They ELDERS(WTF!), decide that for the ceremony to proceed, he cannot attend.
He cannot:
1-Walk her down the isle.
2-attend the ceremony, period!
3-attend the reception..

And he AGREED!

HE PAID FOR THE MOTHERFUCKER!...

NOW HERE'S THE KICKER....

Daughter and Wife were OK with this!

WHAT THE FUCK!

Meanwhile, Wolfie, who was putting in heavy OT because his bosses at Health Net decided to screw the pooch with Medicare D last year, could not attend.
But when I found out what was going on, blew my stack!

Hey, he screwed up, but who the fuck are these assholes to say what goes on......
She took him back, that means she forgave him....Nuff Said!

My kid, I paid for everything...You're damn right I'm walking her down the isle..You don't want to attend..Fuck off...

This is what happens when you let religions..ANY RELIGION...Try and dictate you life.

Any relationship you have between whatever God you choose to believe in..COOL BEANS...But religions are associations started by man, with doctrines written by MAN!
And when they start telling you what to do in you Private lives, once you and your wife have worked it out, then that is pure and unadulterated BULLSHIT!


And btw, where did he watch his daughter get married? He sat in a room at the Madonna Inn, and received pictures via computer feed...

Do I feel sorry for him?
No. He made his bed, three times...
Why am I angry?
Cause it behooves me that these people have the nerve to think they are so above reproach that they can dictate to others...


If I offended anyone...Well, I'm sorry, but hey...Shit happens.



Peace.

The day is is over...My Weekend...I Need it!


Yeah, my weekend come early...I work a 4/10 shift...which means I work four days-10 hours a day....
Which I don't mind..but this week, for some reason has been a real biatch!

Why, you ask?

Well lets see, the weather has played hell with my sinus's...my insomnia is going out of whack...and Tuesday night I couldn't sleep for anything, so it was the longest night of my life....or felt like it.

Tuesday:...It rained...the holiday was over, and all the assholes were let loose from the insane asylum.
my day was peachy.
Went home, couldn't sleep..found out about my family and the stupid things they did..couldn't sleep...got a cramp in my leg...then I had to go to work..yeah..lots of fun.

Wednesday: with no sleep, sinus pain, and a sore leg..I went to work...and the same shit, different day. OY!
The nuts were still out of the asylum....and seemed to be all calling me.
I had my regular weekly training meeting(still in training, ya know)with my current supervisor....which was OK, to say the least....I mean I get to pick a call and listen to it...I could hear the sinus pain in my voice.

Then quality control nabs me at 7:00...they give me a review..that was worse...
"I don't hear a desire to help, there...."
No shit...I have a sinus headache and hear a fuck you coming...

I went home shortly after...no, I didn't tell her to fuck off...but I thought it...

Thursday: felt better...still more assholes, but not that bad a day..why?
CAUSE IT'S MY FRIDAY!

AM I RUBBING IT IN?? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM!


hence the new video...one of my all time favorite songs! Bruce Springsteen's Roselita!

so enjoy...my weekend is going to one of movie going...comic reading and crafting...

AH....Wonderland!

From time to time...I may rant about certain things that may come off as offensive to some of my more regular readers..to those few, (You know who you are) I want to apologize in advance...everyone else..well, ya came in. Sit down, read it, and if you feel like commenting, fine..if not..that's fine too.


This is what I'm going to call, as the title suggest, "The Big F'You.." I'm going to give this unwelcome but what I see as a well deserved award to the individuals or groups or thing, that I feel have done that simple, singular stupid thing that would earn it.

So here goes...

The first "F.U." Goes out to a certain group of people who, I feel are not only deserved of this, but well overdue of it..
See, this is the story of Carlota and her dipshit brother Jake...who were taking care of their invalid mother...while doing so, Carlota got this brite idea.."Hey, I think I should get paid for this..so she petitioned the state...for caregiver wages...and got em....Then she thought, "Hey, I think I deserve more". so she tricked her mother, who was considered legally blind, and being eaten away by diabetes, to sign a document...that she told her was just a bill...Turned out this bill was a credit application..for a Credit Card...which she took out in her fathers name...adding her name to the account!

Wait...it gets better....Carlota, in her devious wisdom, told Jake about this...now Jake, who at one time was a practicing to be a minister, knew the difference between right and wrong...he knew this was Credit Card fraud..did he say anything????

NOPE!

Jake went along for the ride....as long as he got invited to the restaurants and movies..he was cool...So Carlota went on charging..Clothes, toys for the kids..shit like that...and Jake went along for the ride...their mom got sicker..ended up in the hospital...and they were still doing this....their day, was totally unaware...as was their sister...Cassie..she just thought Carlota's dumbass husband was doing good working for their dad...so this went on..and on...till the bottom dropped out...

Their mother died.

When it came time to bury her..well a little known fact surfaced. Dad was in the hole for 10,000.00!

WTF!
Needless to say, Carlota's bubble burst. She was busted.
Long story short, Dad couldn't bury his wife the way he wanted, Carlota's free ride ended, and Jake played stupid...and Cassie was left holding the bag..Why? Cause Carlota played the blame game.."She made me do it..she did it too!"

So for the next three years, Dad was mad, at Cassie.
Irrational, I know..go figure.
Enter Raymond...the brother who no one wanted to find out..found out..and was pissed.
But his wife wouldn't let him tell anyone, because she wanted to keep the peace..and what good would it do..

But the assholes down at the farm, well they wouldn't leave well enough alone...and the provoked, and prodded...even when he moved far far away..they still tried...till one day, just as Raymond predicted, the bottom fell out a second time....Cassie found out that she'd been played the fool all this time...little late, seeing as she jeopardized her marriage, one of her sons left home and she lost her home, all for Carlota...only to find that she'd been blamed for everything.

Yeah..sucks don't it..and all this time they were mad at Raymond..why? because Ray knew something was up..wouldn't put up with their bullshit, and when he found out the truth, they were terrified that he was going to tell Cassie...so they made him look like the bad guy...even told lies to Dad...which didn't work..but they spread them anyway, why? cause when you spread shit..it just continues to stink.

So, now Cassie knows...Carlota's in the shit house..Jake's living in a permanent state of denial...and Raymond...Well Raymond gives a big FUCK YOU to all three of them...they made their beds..let em lie in it..




Nuff Said.

There's a story behind this...

Well, the wife and I went to the Farmers market..it was quaint, small, very nice.
Picked up a nice jar of Habanero salsa and this:

No, not a disembodied hand...though that would have been cool...but a ring..the inside circle are skulls..and they spin! Here's another pic:


Hey, it goes good with the Ghost Rider movie coming out..and it matches a bracelet of skulls that I made...

all in all, it was a very nice afternoon...

Then we come home and this presents the photo op of the day...


notice what he's looking at? Yeah..that's a cat. It decided to chill on my walk and in doing so, caught the attention of Bear..The pictures say it all..."DAD,COME ON, I Won't hurt him...I just want to play...really..."

Nuff said.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

This was sent to me by my buddy, Ryan...I think it sums up Driving in Arizona..


HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is "FEE-NICKS".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop
101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road. SR
202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway. And if all that isn't enough to remember SR 51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy pronounce. SR 101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY.
Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. where it dead ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly.
If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

WOLFIE GOES TO MARKET....

Seeing that I've been in this burg for going on four months now, its time I search my surroundings for some local flare...

Some down right country goodness.

I'm talking bout the good ole' Farmers Market.

Yup, Mrs Wolfie found in the local a paper, a farmers market that just so happens to be going on down the road from us! Hot Damn!

I love these things. You never know what you'll find. Found some of my best beads at a farmers market. And food is always the best!

I will update you tomorrow, and try to remember to take my camera with me...



To Be continued.....